Maybe I’m just basic. An imposter. But let me explain my take on Imperial Triumphant and their whole vibe/aesthetic (not to mention their discography) and why now I’m more confident and sincere when I say I’m a fan. Because Goldstar is not only their best, most accessible album, it also helped me to analyze my own complicated feelings when it comes to bands everyone else loves, and I just don’t get. I’m sure that wasn’t their intention, but I think they’d be happy to know their brazen concoction of jazzy technical death metal helped me feel more comfortable about, well…me.

But first, the album itself. There’s never been a question about the band’s technical chops, but on Goldstar those chops marry much better with their musical influences, creating a less disjointed, more cohesive feel that ties the tracks together like never before, no small feat when you’re injecting new things like noise/hardcore on the batshit awesome “NEWYORKCITY” featuring Yoshiko Ohara who channels Yamatsuka Eye giving the track echoes of Naked City. Same with the delightful segue “Goldstar” which not only most closely channels their NYC art-deco fetish, but acts as a perfect summary of what the album conveys (at least in my head): the way those in power wrap up their poison and death in a catchy slogan to sedate the masses.

I spent a paragraph talking about the two tracks that are each under a minute – what about the actual songs? Starting with “Eyes of Mars” they’re uniformly excellent. This might be the best production to come out of the former Menegroth, so huge props to Colin Marston and Arthur Rizk for capturing Imperial Triumphant in a way not even they were able to accomplish before. But for me it’s “Gomorrah Nouveaux” where it really comes together, starting with Kenny Grohowski’s incendiary drum performance. And then there’s the classical vortex that’s the focal melody on single “Hotel Sphinx” – both guitarist/vocalist Zachary Ezrin and bassist/keyboardist Steve Blanco are fantastic throughout Goldstar, but they are on fire here. There’s even more power when guest percussionists Tomas Haake (Meshuggah) and Dave Lombardo (everything, but Slayer for realz, yo) jump in on “Pleasuredome” and “Lexington Delirium”.

Okay, album taken care of, so let’s get into the personal side. I own the last four Imperial Triumphant albums on deluxe vinyl, and I never listen to them (that may change now thank you Goldstar). Am I a poser? I even had Alphaville on my 9C 2020 end of year list. I could always find little moments, and on paper their music seemed tailor-made for me, but the chaos and production always held me back. So why collect them? I think it wasn’t so much to be in the crowd – I’m old and introverted, hate social media so there’s no one to impress – but to feel like I got it. By not immediately raving about the band like everyone else, I felt like there was something wrong with me, like I was dumb for not liking it.

Insane to write that, considering how often I write about lists and likes being subjective and not beholden to anyone. But this year I’ve been coming to grips with my depression and anxiety and the knowledge that I have major self-esteem and confidence issues. Accepting that and digging further has helped me to better understand why I do some of the things I do, like spend a bunch of money on something I’m not really into but everyone else is.

It wasn’t to impress “them”. It was to convince myself I can get it.

Slowly I’m learning to accept that not only will I not “get it” sometimes, but that it’s perfectly okay to “not get it”. Maybe I’m finally ready to let the heart listen to the mind, and accept it. With Imperial Triumphant, Goldstar helped me to see past the marketing and media and really take pleasure in those things that do grab me, and use them as anchor points to explore deeper. As I write this I’m going back to Alphaville, and I’m finding things I never heard before.

Better late than never. And if never? I guess that’s okay, too.