king diamond - them

King Diamond: “Them” (1988)

“Grandma!!!!!!” I don’t know if there’s a more apt intro for this post, and I don’t know if there’s a better, more hilarious yet awesome intro to a metal song ever. With a new guitarist and bass player in tow replacing his former Mercyful Fate bandmates, King Diamond crafted if not an album for the ages in “Them”, then at least a song for the ages in the immortal (and thankfully captured in video form) “Welcome Home”. This was my first exposure to King Diamond as a kid, my first purchase of his on CD, and then my first purchase when I moved to vinyl. Does it hold up, especially in t he light of having just digested at length both Fatal Portrait and Abigail? Time to find out…

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king diamond - abigail

King Diamond: Abigail (1987)

Listening back to Abigail, the second solo effort from King Diamond I can’t believe this was as popular as it was back in the late 80s, but I guess never discount the theatrical flair that would come to dominate the MTV generation. This was a huge album at the time, and my immediate takeaway listening to it in the Year of Our Lord 2024 is the distinct similarity to Fates Warning’s Awaken the Guardian, released the year before, rather than a now tenuous grasp with Mercyful Fate. The music is more progressive, and the conceptual narrative of a couple moving into a haunted house with the spirit of a stillborn child now stretches over the entire album as opposed to occupying a suite of songs. It’s as ambitious as anything done to that point – certainly in metal – and the fact that it lives up to its reputation, even 37 years later is a welcome surprise.

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king diamond - fatal portrait

King Diamond: Fatal Portrait (1986)

I like the idea of kind of returning to when I would review whole blocks of albums from an artist because of the whole alphabetical order thing. I don’t want to go entirely back to reviewing my library A-Z, but as something hits me I’ll occasionally return to the format when I have enough from an artist to do so. Like now. King Diamond (and by extension Mercyful Fate, although honestly they came to my attention later) have always intrigued me as coming close to the sound I heard in my head whenever I thought of “my” perfect metal as a kid: heavy but progressive, with interesting structures but killer hooks. So with that in mind let’s travel through what many would consider their trifecta of classic albums, starting with their debut Fatal Portrait.

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the time album cover

The Time: The Time (1981)

We’re writing when the feeling is right, not on the daily #mayvinylchallenge schedule. Couple that with taking care of a sick teenager all weekend and I needed a break. Thankfully Day 8 of the challenge asks for a record that makes you move or dance, is really just an excuse to break out the eponymous debut from The Time. Whether you take it as an extension of Prince’s prodigious output or a thing on its own, you can’t deny the slinky, funk pop fun The Time is able to dole out time and time again.

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jane's addiction - nothing's shocking

Jane’s Addiction: Nothing’s Shocking (1988)

Jane’s Addiction always brings up a very specific sense memory for me: driving to high school with my friends in the backseat of a station wagon, transitioning from the suburbs to the country, hearing these songs mixed in with Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix (it was always the Smash Hits compilation), and Minor Threat, among others. Ritual de Habitual may have been the chart breaker as it rode the alternative wave in 1990, but I always preferred the hazy, Zep-heavy debt of Nothing’s Shocking. Recently my brother and I went record shopping looking for the songs we grew up with, and whereas his Perry Farrell fix came from Porno for Pyros (we’re seven years apart), mine was with the OG. This just came in on vinyl yesterday, so no better time to give it a fresh spin.

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black sabbath - mob rules

Black Sabbath: Mob Rules (1981)

Despite being a massive Black Sabbath AND Dio fan, I’m here to sheepishly admit I rarely if ever listen to the albums the two made together. I usually stick to the first six album for both parties, but when I saw a great condition original pressing of Mob Rules at my shop I couldn’t pass it up and take a chance to dig deeper and see what works, what doesn’t, and how it compares to the discography I tend to stick to. Plus that album art…damn if this isn’t maybe one of the best covers in all of heavy metal.

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